Dieing alone
by BIFF1
Summary: When Fargo has a near death experience there is only one place he wants to be, in Claudia Donovan's arms. It's just too bad they live so far apart.


**A/N:** I did a drabble the other day and that idea grew into this. Anthems of a seventeen year old girl - broken social scene somehow made me think of this. I really hope you like it wasn't sure if I wanted to share it.

**Dieing alone**

Fargo lay under a steel crossbeam in the rotunda of Global Dynamics, he could hear the painful cries of his colleagues and somewhere to the southwest of him he could hear Jo.

"Carter?" She spoke softly in the debris of the explosion as if she was afraid anything louder would cause the rest of the building to come down on them. He could hear the crackle of a radio.

"Jo!" Carters voice came in that in and out fade of a dieing radio.

"Jack," the name was thick and wobbly from what was no doubt tears, "tell Zane- "

"Don't you dare Josephine!" through the whimpering and crying filling up the rotunda he could clearly hear the waver in Carters voice.

Jo thought they were going to die underneath all this metal and plaster.

He was suddenly jealous of Jo, the person she loved was here, she could tell him she loved him, could touch him, smell him, taste him if she felt so inclined.

He on the other hand only had memories of the girl he loved.

She was several states away with no idea that he was dieing. Would anyone even tell her? How long would it take for her to know he was dead? Would whoever would be organizing his funeral have the sense to invite her? Had he willed her anything? Did he have anything that was good enough for her?

He started to go through a list in his head of everything he had, what he thought she would enjoy and what he loved most.

"Jo!" Fargo yelled out to her.

"Fargo? Are you okay?"

He looked up at the heavy beam slowly crushing him and over to his pinned arm and the trail of blood seeping out of him, "Not really. Can you tell Carter something for me?"

"What?" she called back as loud as she dared.

"I want Claudia to have my six million dollar man lunch kit and my laser prototype." his voice quaked and he could feel tears leak out of his eyes, finding a path to the ground cleaning strips of dirt away from his face.

"Fargo we are not dieing like this."

"Just tell- tell him." his voice cracked and he closed his eyes trying to pretend that weight on his chest was Claudia. He tried to block out the rest of the world but could still hear Jo's soft crying voice relay his message to their friend. A friend he would never see again. He just wanted to see her again, to hold her in his arms one last time.

With that thought he blacked out.

"Fargo?" Allison's voice drifted into the his mind and pulled him back into consciousness.

"Dr. Blake?" He blinked his eyes and found a white tent and medical supplied swam into view, "Allison?" He pushed himself painfully into a sitting position. Behind her he could see Jo still unconscious Zane and Carter hovering over her body.

She turned to look at what had caught his eye, "Oh Jo's going to be find, she's just recovering from surgery."

"Zane..." He watched as Zane stood silently by her bed, his eyes red and his hand clinging to hers as if to let go of her would mean death for them both.

"Yeah he just wouldn't stay away, he's been here all night, we were both with Jack when she said his name over the radio, he tried to run into the building, I had to sedate him," When Allison looked back Fargo was crying silently, "Fargo what's wrong?"

"I have to go." He said urgently pulling I.V.'s out of his arms and pushing himself away from the bed.

"Where are you going? Jack stop him!" Jack looked away from Jo and saw his friend trying desperately to get out of the medical tent.

"Fargo, where are you going?"

"South Dakota!" He yelled finally pushing his way out of the tent.

Carter stood still watching him go, "Be careful."

"Carter? Aren't you going to stop him?"

"No." He turned back to Jo and Allison walked confusedly over to him, she put a hand on his shoulder and he saw how confused she was, "Claudia's in South Dakota."

Hours later he stood on the porch of Lena's bed and breakfast, he wasn't positive but he was pretty sure he was still bleeding from somewhere. He knocked on the door and winced even that hurt.

It took a couple minutes before he heard any noise come from the b&b.

He was surprised, not that it took a couple of minutes for it was the dead of the night, no he was surprised he was here at all. He had never been that close to death before. He could still feel the painful heavy hollow feeling fall over him, it had settled just under his skin and drained any warmth from his body.

The door opened up and it was a man, he took one look at him and yelled behind him, "Claudia! It's for you!" He left the door open but moved back into the building. Fargo stared at the threshold but didn't cross it. He heard the heavy thumping of Claudia pounding down the stairs.

"Doug?" She looked almost afraid as she approached the broken man, "Are you okay?" She held out a hand and he took it, pulling her close to his body. Just wanting to feel her heartbeat against his skin, to feel that electric feeling. He wanted to feel alive, he wanted to feel her.

"Doug..." her voice was muffled by his body, his shirt was ripped and smelt of explosives and blood.

"Shh." he whispered into her hair taking in the warmth of her skin, the smell of her hair, memorizing the way she felt in his arms.

"What happened?"

"I can't tell you" he sounded like he was in pain. Sighing she understood exactly what he meant, she didn't have the clearance for the particular breed of problem that had shook him.

"Come on." She pulled him gently into Lena's, squeezing his hand she lead him up the stairs to her room.

"Where are we going?" Fargo's voice was drained, it seemed as if it had been run through a strainer.

"To sleep."

"T-t-together?" his voice was hushed and shaken and she could tell without turning that he was blushing. She pushed open the door to her room and guiding him in she spoke.

"Maybe." She shut the door behind her looking across the hall to Pete's room. He was leaning against the door frame waggling his eyebrows suggestively to her. Waving him angrily away she closed him out. When she turned back around she saw that Fargo had moved to her bed. Sitting slumped and almost lifeless he was looking down at his shaking hands, "Oh Doug." she whispered into the darkened room quickly closing the distance between them. Kneeling in front of him she took his shaking hands in hers, "Why did you come here?"

Looking down at her with eyes dark and sad he spoke barely above a whisper, "I don't want to die, " he wanted to add more to that but his voice hitched and he couldn't bring himself to say anymore,it was just one word but it was a heavy painful word.

_Alone_.

She watched, heart breaking, as he tried to unbutton his shirt with shaking hands, "I don't want you to die either." she brushed his hands softly aside and began unbuttoning his shirt for him. She watched his face, pained and blushing as she removed his shirt.

"Oh god, Doug." she peeled the shirt away from his skin and saw the blue and red marking his skin, "you look awful."

"Not exactly what I'd hoped you'd say, taking off my clothes in your bedroom." he smirked nervously looking everywhere but at her.

"I'm serious," she stood up quickly towering over him, "Have you seen a doctor?"

"I am a doctor."

"Not of medicine Douglas." She placed a hand delicately on his bruised and cut chest, "you look like a building fell on you." an odd silence filled the room, "Doug...did a building fall on you?" he looked away and she knew she was right, "Oh my god! Why aren't you in a hospital?"

"I wanted to see you." he whispered and it was almost lost in her outrage.

"What?"

"When I was dieing I thought about you," she sat down beside him close enough to feel his heat come off him in waves, with quickening heart she held her breath waiting for him to continue, "I just wanted to hold you, to feel your skin on mine, to feel your breath against my skin." Claudia wrapped her arms gently around him, resting her head against his shoulder, "I was so worried you wouldn't even know I was dead." his voice was heartbreaking and it pulled her apart. He pulled her closer to him, "Today I verbally willed you my laser prototype...and my six million dollar man lunch kit."

"I understand the laser but a lunch kit?" smiling lightly she detached herself from him and moved to the other side of the bed. She pulled the blanket down and got back into bed motioning for Fargo to join her.

_I love it...like I love you..._Taking off his dusty glasses he shuffled carefully under the covers, sliding his body up next to hers, "It's my favourite."

"Does it have a thermos?"

"You bet it does." He draped a possibly broken arm across Claudia's slight frame and pulled her close to him. He put his mouth to her skin, smelling her and committing her taste to memory. It didn't take long for Claudia to fall back to sleep in his arms.

"Claudia?" he whispered, but she barely stirred, _I love you, _"..."

The words formed in his mind but got stuck in his throat something stopping him from letting the words free into the air, even when he knew she couldn't hear him, "Someday I'll say it out loud,"


End file.
